Few notice or care. I know that sounds really negative, but please keep reading. It’s meant as a way to help you reduce stress over the holidays.
I used to think everything over the holidays had to be perfect. The tree. The decorations. The gifts and wrapping. The meal. Especially the meal. The menu had to be perfect. The food quality, serving temperature, serving dishes, place settings, everything had to be perfect.
It caused a great deal of stress. (Can you relate?)
I put myself through this for years before I realized that no one cared except me. And almost no one even noticed, let alone cared. I think the only people who noticed the work I put into it was my mother and my mother-in-law. My mother didn’t care if it wasn’t perfect. She was just happy that I was preparing a meal so she didn’t have to. (She hated to cook.) My mother-in-law didn’t care if it wasn’t perfect. She was just happy to be invited. I could have served burnt grilled cheese sandwiches and they would still have been happy.
My husband? He notices, but he doesn’t care if things are perfect. He’d much rather I was relaxed and had a good time. (I am much easier to get along with when I’m relaxed.)
Once I realized that people don’t care about perfection, I realized that the things I was doing I was really doing for myself. Since then, I do the things that I like to do, and I recognize that I am doing them for me. That has taken away so much of the stress and tension. Which, then, makes it easier for me to enjoy the holidays as well.
I’m going to finish this article with things that I have changed to reduce my stress in case any of them help you. If you want to stop reading the article here, just remember that people generally don’t care if things are perfect. They are generally just happy to be there. What’s important is how people feel, not how things look. What’s important is enjoyment and fun, not perfection. And that includes enjoyment for you, too.
Suggestions to reduce holiday stress.
- Instead of having a big meal and trying to plan a menu where everyone likes everything, I do appetizers and snacks. We “graze” all day. Everyone has fun. Everyone finds something that they like to eat. No one goes home hungry. I also no longer try to make everything from scratch.
- Instead of china and flatware, I use disposable. It saves so much time. And if you are concerned about the environmental impact, there are compostable disposables available.
- Instead of hand-wash only serving dishes, I use dishwasher safe dishes. (Okay, I still use some hand-wash only serving plates and dishes, but it’s because they are pretty and I like seeing them.)
- The only inside decorations my husband and I both care about is the tree. So, we always decorate a tree. I do more decorating if I feel like it. The only outside decorations we do are lights on the house. I really don’t care whether we have any outside decorations, but my husband likes the lights. (I try to remind him that they don’t have to be perfect.)
- Since we’ve gotten one of our cats, I have a very good reason not to do some decorations that I used to do (like garland on the stair railings). He’s not so good at decorating, but he’s exceptional at undecorating.
Take a look at the things that you do that cause the most stress. Can you eliminate some of them? Can you lower your standards on how you think they should be done? Is it worth it to try to have it perfect when probably no one but you notices or cares?
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